Regret
by BellatrixTheGreat
Summary: Ginny must live with the consequences after a midnight escapade with Draco Malfoy.
1. Mistake

I let him take it from me. Had I been saving it? Not necessarily, I was never into that type of thing. But I never expected to lose it to _him. _

The Gryffindor common room was full of the usual couples cuddling by the fire and students attempting to cram various incantations and potions into their memory. Hermione had darted off to the library yet again, and I was left to my own devices in the common room. I was bored and restless; I had finished all of my schoolwork and yearned for something to do.

The carriage clock above the fireplace struck 11 o'clock and the common room began to empty itself of the younger students. I sat staring at the fire for a while, too lost in thought to move. The clock struck 12, and more students returned to their dormitories. A few students continued, rather enthusiastically, heated activities while one or two disappeared out of the round portrait hole in search of a midnight snack.

Usually at this hour of the night, I would go to my dormitory in an attempt to study or read a romance novel, but tonight was different. I had always been a girl for adventure, but tonight I thirsted for it. I felt the need for an adrenaline rush and to feel the thoughts pour out of my head like stinksap. I stood from where I was sitting and instinctively made my way out of the portrait hole and into into the dark corridor.

I already knew where I wanted to go. The crisp outside air was exactly what I needed. I walked slowly onto the castle grounds towards the black lake, smooth as glass. The lake appeared to be dotted with glowing lights and a large luminescent orb, reflecting the dark canopy above it. A cool breeze blew my robes as I dropped them and dipped my feel into the cool water. It rippled across the surface, disturbing the peacefulness of the water. I sat there for a long time, gazing into the night.

Suddenly, the sound of someone walking on dewy grass broke the tranquil silence. I pulled my wand out of the pile of robes at my feet and pointed it in the direction of the footsteps.

"Get that damn thing out of my face, Weasley," said Malfoy, his starled face illuminated in the wandlight.

"What are you doing out here?" I choked out. His pale, milky skin almost glowed and his gray eyes resembled ice. I gulped.

"Why does it matter Weasley? At least I'm not sitting on the banks of the lake alone like you, you're probably thinking about 'The Chosen One' and how he'll never love you," spat Malfoy. He stood staring at me, smirking.

I felt blood rush to my cheeks. I did NOT need to be reminded of my unrequited feelings for Harry Potter by my arch enemy. Although, right now my arch enemy looked surprisingly attractive. I pushed my uncontrolled thoughts out of my head and focused and the anger welling up inside of me. My failed history with Harry was none of Malfoy's business.

"That is NONE of your concern Malfoy. If all you have to say to me is bullshit, leave me alone. I don't need you to remind me of how Harry will never love me, that's already been established, and I sure as hell do not fancy seeing your hideous rat face right now."

The honest words flowed out before I had the conscience to stop them. I didn't want to seem vulnerable, but it was obviously already too late.

Something in Malfoy's eyes changed. He opened his mouth as if though to speak, and then closed it again. He seemed lost for words. I then saw what changed; the contempt in his face had been replaced with pity and guilt.

"I didn't know," whispered Malfoy.

"No one does," I breathed back, lowering my wand. He didn't seem to be lying. Maybe he wasn't as much of a soulless monster as I thought.

"How about we go for a swim, okay?" said Malfoy, obviously trying to alleviate the awkwardness between us. For some reason, I felt more comfortable with him.

We both began to strip off pieces of unnecessary pieces of clothing and throw them into a pile. Malfoy peeled off a white button-down to reveal toned muscles. I swallowed and looked away, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I had a few civil words with this boy, and now I was unceremoniously stripping into my intimates for him? I pushed these motherly thoughts out of my head and removed my top. I saw Malfoy glance quickly over at me in my bra. With a deep breath, I took off my skirt. He was done undressing too, and we were both unsuccessfully attempting to keep our eyes on each other's faces. Malfoy was only in his boxers, and I in my ratty underwear and bra.

Silently, we both stepped into the black depths of the lake, slowly wading farther in until the water hit just beneath my chest. He stopped too and looked into my eyes.

"Can I call you Draco?" I asked, "I mean, we're both almost naked, we might as well be on a first name basis."

"Draco sounds good to me," he said, smiling and scanning my body.

I could hear the conversation coming to a stop. I didn't want it to.

"Y_ou want to talk to Draco Malfoy? What is wrong with you!" _harped the motherly voice in my head. I blatantly ignored it. All the while, I could tell we were getting closer to each other, inch by inch."Draco, do you come here often?" I asked.

"Sometimes. Whenever I can't sleep. I turn into an insomniac when I can't stop thinking about someone."

"Who do you think about?" I inquired. It slipped out before I could stop myself.

"You." The answer was so blunt and honest, I almost didn't believe it.

"Me? Why me?" I asked. I was stunned.

"Because Weasley, the way your hair flows down you back and how your face turns beat red when you're angry. How you can kick my ass in Quidditch and how your eyes burn when you're determined. And it helps that your dead _sexy."_

My whole body felt warm. A new feeling took over me. I wanted him. I had no idea where it came from, but I was suddenly lusting for Draco Malfoy. And I liked it.

"Do you who I'm thinking about right now?" I purred seductively, enrapturing his attention.

"I have an idea," He said with a knowing smile, as I moved closer."I'm thinking of a guy with a fierce personality and eyes like ice. I'm thinking of someone who is proud and is a frequent insomniac. I'm thinking of someone who is sexy as hell, and who happens to be standing in front of me." I took a step closer to him and put my hands on his chest at the water level. He took my face in his hands, and kissed me.

The kiss grew deeper and more passionate with every second as my mouth worked over his. Draco pulled me close and snaked his hands to my back, fumbling with the clasp on my bra. The tattered garment fell into the water, as Draco broke the kiss and stared at my bare breasts. I had always found them quite small, but Draco didn't seem to mind; on the contrary, he couldn't keep his eyes off them.

My hands meandered beneath the waters to his boxers. I slowly pulled them down his toned legs and threw them onto the bank. He again captured my lips and I let my tongue explore his mouth. This time, it was more urgent, more demanding. Our hands groped each other freely as I let my hand explore below his waist. He shuddered with pleasure, still not breaking our embrace.

We made our way over the bank, crawling onto the edge while still keeping our hands on each other as much as possible; My mind was no longer working. Almost instinctively, I held onto him and looked into his eyes. He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

"Do you want to?" He asked breathlessly. My mind, the motherly voice mostly, was screaming in protest, but my body wanted him more than anything. I surveyed his body again, from below his waist to his muscles to the need in his whispered the words.

"Yes."

Everything was a blur after that. As if our feelings were amplified, we lost ourselves in a tangle of arms and legs and our embraces grew even more passionate. And then, out of nowhere, I felt a strange pressure and something hurt like hell. Tears rolled down my cheeks; I never imagined it would hurt _this _bad.

The sharp pain eventually turned into a dull ache, and the strange pressure became more pleasurable. I held onto Draco, not wanting to lose myself in his arms. His strokes became faster, and then it was over. Draco fell off me panting, and lay there beside him.

It was when our breathing became shallower that it hit me. As if I had been hit with a blunt object in the chest, I could barely conceal a strangled sob. My mind was spinning. _I just lost my virginity to Draco Malfoy. I had sex with my brother and his best friend's arch enemy. His best friend that I happen to be in love with._ Draco didn't seem to notice my distress; he was too busy looking for his clothing. I ran over to where my robes were and threw them on. In what I could only imagine was the speed of light, I ran, tears pouring down my cheeks, to the castle, ignoring Draco's calls of "Ginny?".

I flew through the portrait hole and up the stairs to my dormitory and into my four poster bed. Burying my head in the pillows, I let my tears drown me. One thought tortured me above all others and was constantly being repeated over and over in my mind.

_I gave myself to Draco, and I don't even love him._


	2. Unexpected Complications

It had been three days since the incident, and Hermione was worrying herself sick over me. I couldn't believe what I had done, and it tore me apart from the inside out. I was a mess, and it showed.

"Ginny, maybe you should go talk to Madam Pomfrey. You should really consider it, she could give you something to make you feel better," Hermione told me in a hushed voice while we were studying in the library. I had told her about me and Draco when my dorm mates got sick of my constant tears. They pulled her into to my bed that same night in an attempt to talk some sense into me. I was so thankful that she hadn't been quick to judge. Now, I wished I hadn't told her. Hermione's constant fussing only reminded me more of the encounter that I wanted more than anything to forget.

"Please Ginny? I hate seeing you like this. And Gin, don't you think you should maybe take an, um, pregnancy test? Just in case?." I shook my head vigorously. That was something that I really did not want to worry about at the current time.

"Hermione, he probably used some type of contraceptive spell and I was too occupied to realize it. Can you just drop it?" Hermione opened her mouth as if she was about to argue, but then her eyes slid back to the book she was pretending to read.

She obviously had no idea how horrible this was for me. I had been suckered into having sex with my enemy with a few seductive words and glances. I felt weak. Other girls had no problem resisting the lustful comments of young men, but no, I had to break like a twig.

It didn't help that I walked the halls with Draco every day. Of course, he acted like I wasn't there whenever we saw each other. I was just another one-night stand, I was almost completely sure. The whole school had been scarred by Pansy Parkington's detailed descriptions of her midnight rendezvous' with Draco. She probably wasn't the only one. The very thought made me feel nauseous.

And then there was that _other _thing to worry about. The issue that Hermione had inconveniently brought up. I couldn't be pregnant, right? I hoped that Draco used a charm and I was just too taken to notice. I could ask, but just the thought of having to look him in the eye made me want to keel over. I pushed all the unpleasant child-bearing thoughts out of my head. I'd get my period and everything would be super. I couldn't be pregnant. I just couldn't.

The next morning dragged on like all of the rest. I could barely concentrate in my classes, so much that even the teachers were noticing. McGonagall reprimanded me for dosing off several times during her lesson. I couldn't help it.

Later that afternoon, the rather unexpected happened. I was taking a shortcut down a deserted corridor when I heard footsteps trailing behind me. I whipped around, and to my dismay, saw Draco Malfoy with an urgent look on his face. Great.

"Ginny, we need to talk."

"No. I really don't think we do."

"Ginny, Please, we really need to," begged Draco.

"You ignore me for a week and a half after our little encounter and now you want to talk to me?" He took a step closer to me and looked me in the eyes, grey on brown. He didn't seem to have listened to what I had said.

"You seem upset. Whenever I see you in the hallways, you look- broken. I can't find another word to describe it."

He was right.

"That's probably because I am. It's not like I haven't realized that sleeping with you meant absolutely nothing. I mean, most girls' fantasy of their first time typically involves some meaning, along with the actual act," I said, wanting my blunt words hit him hard. He looked guilty.

"You, you were-

"I was what?"

"You were a virgin?" Draco asked, almost whispering. His eyes widened.

I bore my eyes deep into his. That one look was enough. I could see the guilt etched into his features.

"Draco, I just have one question for you," I asked. I needed to know.

"What?"

"Did you, um, use any, err, _preventative_ spells?" I asked pleadingly.

"Ginny, when you said yes, I thought you meant you were on the potion or something."

My heart sank to the floor.

"Is there an issue?" His eyes swept my abdomen, his voice full of anxiety.

"No, no, I was just wondering.

And I swept away down the corridor without another glance.

Hermione found me planted in a chair, gazing into the common room fire later that night.

"Ginny, are you alright?" She asked. I chose to ignore her question.

"I talked to Draco today," I said quietly, my voice barely audible above the crackle of the fire.

"What did he say?" It was more of a demand than a question.

"He didn't use a spell," I mumbled.

"Ginny, I can't even hear you. What did you say?"

"Draco didn't use anything,'' I said slightly louder.

"You mean-"

"Yes, Hermione." I could feel a lecture coming on.

"Ginny, when are you supposed to get your period?

I counted and recounted in my head.

"Three days. But I've been really stressed, so it might be a little late.

"We'll wait until then," She said, "And then we'll go to Madam Pomfrey."

I nodded silently. This couldn't be happening.

It wasn't only my dormmates and Draco that noticed changes in my behavior. Harry, being more observant than my brother, eyed me with suspicion and asked me if I was okay. I made up some story about being overstressed for the O.W.L.s and he seemed to believe me. Harry passed the information onto Ron, and they both abstained from bugging me. In all reality, it would have been a blissful distraction.

Three days came and went. I had taken to running to the lavatory at any sign-a twinge in my stomach, a change in mood- to see if my period had made it's untimely arrival. Didn't stress make it late? I reassured myself with that fact and focused on more important matters. Draco, for instance.

Nowadays, when I passed him in the corridor, I noticed he looked different. He looked worn, worried. I knew where I had seen that expression before-it was the reflection that looked back at me in the mirror. Did he have a feeling that something was wrong too? He had seen the worry in my eyes, I knew it.

While my emotional state was only worsening, my concern for schoolwork was growing. It wasn't necessarily concern-the constant buzz of information in my head and devoting all of my time to practicing spells wordlessly created a diversion from my problems. Although only temporary, any distraction was a good distraction.

A fortnight after I Draco and I had met in the corridor, Hermione and I were in the Great Hall at breakfast, debating whether Lavender Brown was using love potions on Ron. My mood had improved a bit. I had managed to push all my worries to the back of my brain and forget them for extended periods of time, so momentarily, all was well. At least I thought it was.

At that moment, fourth year two seats down from me opened up their Daily Prophet; it fanned the smell of crispy bacon down the table, and my stomach curdled. I leapt from my seat with my hand over my mouth and dashed out of the Hall. In a fraction of a second, I saw Draco look up at me with a pained expression. I cursed his name as I wretched and cried over the toilet in the girl's lavatory.

_Damn you, Draco. Damn you._  
_  
_

_Notes;_

_Hey guys,_

_Thanks for reading this. I didn't expect to get any feedback on my first chapter, but I did get some. I was very happy:)_

_By now it has been almost a month since Ginny and Draco had their disastrous meeting by the lake. I have a pretty clear idea of where this story is going now. I'm trying to keep it as far from cliche as possible; this fic has some definite surprises in store, just wait and see. I know there are alot of stories about Ginny and Draco having some secret love affair without Harry know and a baby results, but this won't be the same. You have my word. _

_This chapter needs alot of work. Constructive criticism is great, I do think I need more of it. _

_I love you all,_

_Katie  
_


	3. Grim Confirmation

When I was little, it seemed as though any distraction would make my problems resolve themselves. That didn't apply here. I was stuck in a dilemma that would not take care of itself, no matter how much I wished it away. But in an attempt to keep a grasp on what was normal, I tried to forget about it. I wanted nothing more than my inconvenient little problem to go away.

But it didn't. Hermione wasn't helping either. She regarded every moment not discussing my options with me a wasted moment, so I had taken to holing myself up in my dormitory to escape her threats of dragging me to Madam Pomfrey. I spent hours pouring over books from the library for any information on diseases that manifested with symptoms similiar to, er, child-bearing. The "p" word was not a spoken word in my vocabulary.

Even worse was my fear that people would find out. It seemed imminent that someone would notice my increased appetite or morning sickness. The idea of a gossip like Lavender Brown or Parvati catching wind of my predicament was even more repulsive. And my symptoms were becoming even more and more impossible to hide. It was only a matter of time before people started whispering about the reasons behind my excessive visits to the bathroom or third helpings at dinner.

One evening after a particularly grueling potions lesson, I was sitting in front of the common room fire. Hermione was "helping" me with my essay, which was due the next day and that I was too fatigued to put any real effort into. I think she had given up on urging me to consider the possibilities. She probably had accepted the fact that I was in denial, although I had a feeling she would pounce within the next few weeks.

Out of nowhere, reality hit me like freight train. I'm having a baby. I'm having a baby. I'm having a baby. I felt queasy and the room started to blur around me. I felt Hermione's hand on my shoulder as I started hyperventilating.

"Ginny, are you okay?" asked Hermione in a concerned voice. I shook my head as I stumbled up to my dormitory and fell onto my bed, breathing heavily. Before I knew it, tears were pouring down my face and my body shook with sobs. Reality hurt and I couldn't take it. Hermione rubbed my back soothingly while I cried rivers all over my pillow. My hand instinctively made its way to my flat stomach. I couldn't even feel a bump yet.

"You can't pretend this isn't happening Ginny. You can't pretend that this pregnancy is just going to magic itself away." I sobbed even harder.

"Hermione, what am I going to do?" I cried. "I can't have a baby, I'm 16. And people will find out, and oh, what will mum say?"

"First, we need to talk to someone to knows what to do. Ginny, you have to see Madam Pomfrey whether you want to or not," said Hermione calmly. Wasn't there some spell I could use to just make this baby go "poof"? Even if I was lucky enough to come across a spell that would do the job, things could go horribly wrong. And was that what I really wanted to do?

"Okay, Hermione," I choked out. It would have to happen sooner or later.

"Tomorrow morning then. No one will even know," said Hermione in a strange voice.

I looked up, and my eyes weren't the only ones filled with tears.

Hermione and I snuck out of the dormitory the next morning without making a sound. Our footsteps echoed ominously in the corridor as we made our way to the infirmary. I felt queasy with every step. Maybe it was a hysterical pregnancy with symptoms brought on by stress. I resorted to far-fetched possibilities to explain my symptoms. I could barely deal with the suspicion that I was with child; having that suspicion confirmed made me feel even sicker.

Thankfully, the infirmary was empty except for a 4th year who had suffered a bludger to the head at the last Quidditch game and seemed to be unconscious. Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office and bustled out to see us. I gulped.

"Can I help you girls?" she asked with a quizzical look on her face.

I could feel the contents of my stomach flipping over. Hermione graciously stepped in.

"Is there a place we can talk to you privately, Madam?" Madam Pomfrey looked even more confused.

"Of course girls, over here," she said, motioned us over to a private bed at the other end of the infirmary. My feet felt like lead as Hermione and I made our way over.

"So ladies, what is the problem? It musn't be good if you're this nervous," said Madam Pomfrey to. It showed that much?

"I, uh, I think that, um...," I choked. The suspicion was too terrifying.

"Yes dear?"

"Ithinimightbehavinababy."

"Can you repeat that dear, your words are jumbled together," she said. Hermione grasped my hand, and it gave me the strength to go on.

"I think I might be having a baby," I choked out. Madam Pomfrey looked alarmed.

"Are you having any symptoms, Miss?"

"Uh, I've been feeling really sick. And I'm really tired all the time," I said.

Madam Pomfrey looked very concerned. "How along would you be?" she asked slowly. It was obvious that she didn't deal with this issue very often. I was probably the only student to ever have this problem in Hogwarts. I would be known as Ginny Weasley, the girl whose pregnancy was the by-product of a one-night stand. I could almost imagine the whispers behind my back.

"About 5 weeks, give or take a few days."

"Ms. Weasley, you should have come to me weeks ago! Lie down now, I'll be right back," said Madam Pomfrey. I laid down on the uncomfortable bed and looked up at Hermione. She looked very anxious.

"It's going to be fine, Ginny. Everything is going to turn out okay."

I tried to make myself believe the lie. It would be a momentary comfort, at least. Madam Pomfrey came back with a medieval looking needle and a vial of some strange, bright blue potion. Before I knew it, she had unceremoniously jabbed the needle into my skin and began to draw blood.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed. "You could have warned me!"

"I need a blood sample for the test," she said, withdrawing the syringe and depositing the sample into the blue potion. I held my breathe as it turned a deep red. Madam Pomfrey stared at it for a moment and frowned.

"I'm sorry Ms. Weasley. You are indeed pregnant," said Madam Pomfrey, sounding as though she was delivering a eulogy. Hermione blanched.

The words hit me like an avalanche. The room in front of me dissolved into a whirl of color and I struggled for breath. I didn't even realize that I had started crying until I felt the all too familiar wetness on my face.

"Now Miss Weasley, you have options. You should take some time to think about this anyhow. If you choose, this pregnancy can be terminated as you are only a few weeks along. I wouldn't advise keeping this child, especially since you are still in school. I will give you a few days to think and then I want you back here to discuss everything."

I could make it go away. It would be all too easy. No, I would need to think about it first. Was it what I really wanted?

I just needed time.

Madam Pomfrey allowed me and Hermione to return back to the dorms after she had give me a detailed explanation of my options, none of which I listened too. We trudged back together, not climbed the steps to the girl's dormitories and I broke the heavy silence.

"Hermione, am I going to do?" I said in a shaky voice. Tears were already pooling in my eyes. She looked me in the eyes dead on.

"I don't know, Ginny. I really don't know."

I would have to tell Draco. He was the father, anyway. And oh Merlin, Mum. She would skin me alive and curse me into oblivion. How was I supposed to handle this situation? I could barely handle myself. Would I be able to handle a baby too? Thoughts zoomed through my head like a thousand golden snitches.

This is one problem that I can't easily magic away.  
-

Guys, thanks so much for reading! I have a better idea of where this story is going now, don't worry. I know that my earlier chapters were a bit choppy. I expect this story to have between 10 and 15 chapters so make sure to stay tuned for updates! Please review, constructive criticism is most appreciated. You guys are awesome!

Katie


	4. Decisions, Decisions

I spent the next few days in my dormitory feigning the stomach virus. I sure felt like I had it; my morning sickness was worse than ever. When I wasn't heaving up the contents of my stomach, I was imagining how I would tell Draco. Was I supposed to owl him? Corner him after class? Drag him into a broom cupboard? No matter what plan I concocted, telling Draco that I was expecting his child would be difficult.

He probably wouldn't even care anyway. What if he told me to get rid of it? I was getting rid of it, wasn't I? I didn't even know that much. I knew I had to make a decision soon. I was 16. I didn't have the strength to care for a baby. But did I have the strength to get an abortion? I didn't know if I would be willing to live with myself.

Hermione dragged me down to breakfast after I had pretended to be violently ill (which wasn't exactly pretending) for a week. With her constant babbling I almost forgot about my predicament. I loaded my plate with bacon and kept to myself, focusing on replenishing my depleted energy. It was after I finished my second plate that my rare moment of peace was interrupted.

"Weasley, meet me in by the picture of the fruit by the kitchens. We need to talk," whispered a familiar voice. I turned around to see Draco Malfoy walking back over to his table. His fellow Slytherins looked at him questioningly, no doubt wondering what business he had with a Weasley. Hermione looked at me wonderingly.

"Are you going to tell him then?" she whispered.

"I think he already knows," I said, my heart sinking. Instinct, overwhelming instinct told me that Draco wasn't as oblivious as I assumed.

"What! How? Only you and me know about this," she said, motioning to my stomach. -

I met Draco outside the fruit painting which led to the kitchens. He slouched against the wall carelessly, as though whatever he was there for didn't deserve his attention. He walked up to me as soon as he saw me. I opened my mouth, about to tell him the news I dreaded, but he beat me to it.

"Did you get rid of it?" he asked. There was a sense of urgency in his voice that I had never heard before.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The baby, the baby, did you take care of everything?"

"How do you know about-"

"It wasn't that hard Weasley, I saw you get sick in the Great Hall and then you miss a week of classes. And not to be rude, but you look like hell. There are rumors, Ginny. So, it's taken care of, right?"

"If you mean by "taking care of it" as in "abortion", then no. And who's talking? No one can know about this," I replied. What gave him that notion? And rumors were flying about already? I was barely seven weeks along!

"What do you mean? I know that it's mine. I can't be a father, I just can't. And these two 7th years from Gryffindor can't keep their trap shut about your 'illness'." Draco insisted. The idea was clearly causing him alot of stress. It was nothing compared to mine.

"You think it's that easy? To just make this baby go poof? It doesn't work that way Draco, nothing ever does. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'm still trying to process the fact that I'm expecting a baby. YOUR baby. And if you had been smart enough to use a contraceptive spell, then maybe we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Tell me what you're going to do then, when you decide." His eyes brushed my abdomen as he turned and walked slowly down the corridor. I didn't bother to follow and he didn't bother to look back.  
-

My three options tortured me all that night. Parenting, adoption, termination. Which one was I supposed to choose? Shouldn't I know what was right for me? The best option, in Draco's words "taking care of it" was probably the best choice, and it scared me. But something else terrified me even more. I had begun to love the child inside of me. I didn't know exactly when I started. I guess it was when I realized that I wasn't alone anymore. I didn't know if I could bear to let my baby go.

Even more terrifying was that was telling my mother. I had written and re-written the letter to her in an attempt to quell the violent reaction that would result. I finally sent the letter that morning. Oh Merlin, what if she went me a howler? The last thing I wanted was the news of my pregnancy ricocheting off of the castle walls for everyone to hear.

Dear Mum,

School is going well, I guess. I thought that 6th years would be assigned less homework. How wrong I was. I'm getting through it well anyway, so there is no need to worry.

There is something I need to tell you. I know that you'll be terribly disappointed in me. I never intended for anything like this to happen. Mum, I am almost 8 weeks pregnant. I know you are probably furious, but Mum, I need you right now. I'm absolutely terrified. I don't know what to do. I can't believe that I got myself into this situation. I'm keeping this baby, I just can't bear to get an abortion. Other than that, I don't know anything. Please help me mum. I know that I can't do this on my own.

Love,  
Ginny

I tied the letter to an owl in the owlery and watched it fly off into the distance. I wanted her to reply soon more than anything, yet at the same time I didn't want her to know that I was capable of such horrible misjudgment. But I needed my mum. With six pregnancies under her belt, she was more knowledgeable on child bearing than anyone else I knew.

There was only one thing that I now knew for sure; I wasn't getting an abortion. The fondness I had for my baby was multiplying. It made me even more panicked and worried that I actually was. Did I love my baby enough to be a parent? Would I love it enough to give it to someone who could care for it? The unborn child within me was on my mind night and day.

Oh Goodness. Dad had said once that mum started showing at three months with me. That was only 12 weeks. would I start showing in another month? I was already 8 weeks along, almost 9. People were already talking and I knew for sure that a baby bump wouldn't help my cause. It wasn't only a matter of time before people found out. I could only hope that any outright discovery of my secret would be far off in the future.  
-

I returned to the infirmary the next day for for some follow up tests. Madam Pomfrey became increasingly bothersome with all the questions she was asking. How was I supposed to know how many times I "relieved" myself in a week? But I knew all of her questions were out of concern for my baby's health. I couldn't wait to find out the gender, but Madam Pomfrey said it was too early. I was dying to know. Something in my mind was telling me that it was a baby girl. I hoped so. The idea of having a baby girl was so appealing.

When I wasn't daydreaming about the perfect baby, I was scared out of my wits. Mum still hadn't answered my letter back and it had been a week. The whole family probably knew by now. And I needed to tell Ron. I still hadn't broken news to him, and I didn't want him to find out from anyone but me.

I chose to tell him that night. I waited for him to come back from the library with Hermione. I always knew there was something going on between them; maybe her presence would relax him. I pulled him aside as soon as he walked in.

"Ron, I need to talk to you."

"Uh, sure Ginny. What is this about?" he asked, confused.

"I need to tell you something. But please, please don't hate me. I need you right." I could feel wetness gathering in my eyes already. Oh goodness, why did I have to start crying NOW?

"Ginny, what's wrong, did someone hurt you? Please tell me, I'll kill them! He added threateningly.

"No, Ron, it's not that at all." I choked out. My eyes were streaming; I could barely get my words out.

"Ginny, come one, your my little sister. You can tell me anything." He said softly, obviously alarmed at my sudden emotion. Damn pregnancy hormones.

"Ron, I'm, I'm-"

"Spit it out, Ginny."

"Ron, I'm pregnant." He looked at me, stunned.

"You mean your having a baby? My baby sister is having a baby?" I didn't know how to answer that. In a split second his surprise turned to anger.

"Who is it Ginny? Who did this? I'll kill him, I'll kill him!"

"Ron, no!" I cried. "It wasn't like that." He took deep breaths for a few minutes until he seemed to calm himself.

"Ginny, just please tell me it wasn't Harry. I don't want to have to kill my best friend." I shook my head immediately.

"No, of course not! Ron, please don't be angry, I need you. I can't get through this alone. I don't want to talk about who the father is or anything Ron. I need you right now." Ron's eyes softened with pity.

"Ginny, I'll be by your side through all of this. There's going to be another Weasley! Not that there aren't enough of us already," he added. I laughed. "D'mum and dad know?"

I shook my head.

"I owled them a few days ago, but I haven't got an answer yet. Ron, I'm scared. I'm really scared." Ron engulfed me in a hug and stroked my head.

"Everything is going to turn out alright Ginny," he murmured into my shoulder. "It always does."

I whispered something so quietly that even Ron couldn't hear.

I sure hope so.  



	5. Moving Forward

Ginny,

I am stunned. I want to scream and cry and yell. How could this have happened? I had no idea that you were engaging in those types of behaviors, or that you were engaging in them so irresponsibly. Whatever happened to thinking before you act? I thought I raised you well, Ginny. I really did. You're father and I couldn't be more upset.

Even though I am very disappointed, I will be there every step of the way with you. I can't say that I'm not a little bit excited- I'm going to be a grandmother! A little earlier than I would have hoped for, admittedly, but a grandmother all the same.

It's going to be hard Ginny. It's difficult for even grown women, it will be the most difficult thing you do in your life. I think you have the strength to go through with this. You've always been strong and I will help you through this.

Love, Mum

Mum wrote back two weeks later. I breathed a sigh of relief after reading the letter in a rush. She didn't hate me. She was disappointed, but she didn't hate me. I felt strangely relaxed; the worst part was over. -

Before I knew it, I was three months along. I couldn't believe that they lake incident had occured only three months ago. Thankfully, my morning sickness had faded away as quickly as it had come. I wasn't prepared for the other symptoms though. I had gained some weight on my hips and it was getting harder and harder to hide under my robes. I knew it wouldn't be long before I started showing on my stomach too. I could already feel a slight bump; I wasn't looking forward to a ballooning abdomen.

That night I dreamt in a whirlwind of color and memories. Usually, I forgot my dreams-I was usually so fatigued that I didn't remember them at all.

I dreamt about life before all the complications came along-I watched as my first kiss with Michael Corner flitted about inside my head as new scenes wove together and intertwined; I watched as Dean Thomas pushed me against the wall of a deserted corridor and kiss me deeply. The next blurr of color and shape was me fooling around with Harry in a broom cupboard; we had made it out just in time to get caught by Filch. Then, Draco's face formed out of the shifting hues.

I woke up immediately, breathing hard and fast. I face was wet; I had been crying in my sleep. I knew why almost immediately. My strangely vivid dream was of me being innocent and carefree and full of passion. Who knew that being pregnant could make a someone feel so much older? I put my hands to my stomach and wept. Those times of blissful freedom were no more. It was just me and my baby now.

I was exhausted the next morning. My strangely realistic dream made me cry into the early hours of the morning. And I was worried. I needed to tell Draco that I wasn't doing what he wanted- getting an abortion. I trudged over to his table at breakfast and whispered into his ear to meet me at the statue of the hump-backed witch after lunch. He barely nodded as I turned around and walked back over to the Gryffindor table, no doubt Slytherin eyes burrowing into my back. Many Gryffindors were peering at my curiously. They knew something was different. I just hoped it would be a long time before anyone realized how different things really were.

It didn't seem like anyone suspected anything yet. Draco told me that some older Gryffindors had said something noticing my symptoms; however, nothing had gotten back to me yet so I wasn't worried. Thankfully, my morning sickness had disappeared. In its place I gained unwavering lower back pain. Even though it hurt like hell, I would take that over throwing up constantly any day.

The day passed in a blur and before I knew it, it was time to meet Draco. I trudge up to the corridor at half past 7. He arrived soon after me. I heard his quick footsteps before I saw him; he sped up when he saw me, obviously anxious to hear what I had to say.

"Do you know what you're going to do then?" he said quickly.

"I'm keeping the baby Draco. I can't get an abortion. I just can't."

"I thought so." Draco said quietly. "You seem strong enough to go through with this." What was he trying to say?

"I really hope so. I know you don't want anything to do with this, but I'm prepared to do this alone. " We stood there in silence. He eyed me stangely and opened his mouth as if to talk. No words came out of his mouth. He stared at for a few minutes before I turned to walk away.

"Ginny- wait." He called out in a carrying whisper. I turned around and saw him standing closer to me than before.

"I won't make you do this on your own. We can't run around and pretend like this isn't happening-it is and there's nothing we can do about it now. You-we're having a baby. I'm not ready to be a father. But I'm not giving myself a choice. You won't be alone in this, Ginny. I'll be there for you now." I looked at him, stunned. Did those words really come out of his mouth? This was Draco Malfoy we were talking about, the evil Slytherin. He wanted to be part of this with me?

"Draco, I want you to be there for me too. But what about your parents? They'd kill you, breeding with a Weasley is probably worse than sleeping with a muggleborn in their book."I said.

"I have not idea how I'm going to break this to my parents. They'll get over it, it's not like they're going to disown a pureblood grandson."

I was in complete and utter shock. Draco had gotten me pregnant, ignored me for weeks, told me to get an abortion, and now he comes back telling me that he wants to be part of this? My first instinct was to hex him into oblivion. But another instinct-my maternal instinct, no doubt-was telling me that he was sincere. And I needed all the help I could get.

"I want you to be part of this. But please, we need to work together. This is going to be extremely difficult for the both of us. I don't want to do this on my own. Just don't leave me hanging, Draco. I don't think that I could handle it if you did."

"Ginny, we're in this together now." He kissed me on the forehead and looked at me sadly. "I have to go, the other Slytherins will be wondering where I'm at." He took my hand in his swiftly and then let go. He gave me one more lasting look before walking away down the corridor. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel so empty. -

I woke up the next morning feeling much happier. I filled Hermione in on the exchange between me and Draco. She was ecstatic. I knew that she hated seeing me so miserable everyday and being helpless to make me feel better. I knew things were looking up. I was still pregnant, underaged, and I had no idea what I was doing, but at least there was hope.

I could now be truly excited for the baby inside me. Before, the excitement was overshadowed by my worry of how the people who were would react to the news. Now, I felt like the cloud of misery had drifted away from me. Harry was now aware that I was pregnant; Ron had filled him in one evening after Harry had asked why I was spending more time in the hospital wing. Ron pulled him into the dormitories and came down an hour later with a shocked looking Harry at his side.

"Is it true? You're really having a..." His words trailed off at the end.

"Yes Harry, It's true. I don't know what else to tell you." He nodded again and went back to his dormitory with Ron, no doubt to talk more about my problem.

I was extremely curious as to know whether my baby was a girl or boy. I was hoping for a girl; the Weasleys had enough boys as it was. I knew that Mum would be euphoric if she had a granddaughter to spoil. Then again, that was if there was a grandchild to spoil at all. Adoption was another option that I had considered. Right now, I was leaning towards parenthood. Handing my child off to a complete stranger was a scary option. But I had no idea what situation I would be in in 5 months time; maybe I would realize that the baby would be better off without me. I hoped that I had the strength to raise a child, but I knew that only time would tell.

It was a battle that was constantly raging inside of me. Was I being selfish by wanting to keep my child? Would I be able to juggle school and a baby? Would I be able to return to Hogwarts at all? The last thought made me feel sick to my stomach. I wanted to finish my education. Would I be forced to sacrifice my future if I chose to raise my child? I headed up to bed feeling uneasy that night. I stayed up late, gazing into the stars outside my window and stroking my stomach slowly. I suddenly remembered something that had before seemed to vanish into my memory. The child within me had been concieved under those stars. The night sky witnesses many misjudgments.

I hoped that this isn't one of them.

Hey guys,

This chapter took a little longer to write. I would really like some constructive criticism on this. I've adjusted my story direction and I hope you guys like where it's going. Remember to review! And thanks so much for reading:)

Katie


	6. Bittersweet Beginnings

~This chapter is going to be different than the last. I've been toying with the idea of a chapter in Draco's POV for a while now, and I decided to give it a shot. It leaves off after their last conversation. I hope you enjoy it!~

Blood was pounding in my ears as I walked away. Draco, what the hell are you doing? You can't take responsibility for this child. If her mum can handle seven brats, she can handle one on her own. My conscience and my common sense were having a relentless battle inside my brain. Ginny was keeping her baby. My baby. And I had just told her that I would be there for her. The whole situation was surreal. Maybe I just drank too much firewhiskey and this was just some wacko dream I was having as a result of excessive intoxication. That idea wasn't too off.

The sound of my own footsteps brought me back to reality as I rounded the corner to the dungeons. I walked up to the solid patch of wall in front of me and whispered the password. The wall materialized into a door, and walked into the dark Slytherin common room and up to my dormitory. I lay down on my bed, comtemplating how this whole thing started. It all came back to me, a rush of memories bombarding me all at once. I sifted through each of them, drinking up the feelings they left me with.

The Sorting Hat didn't make a mistake when it put me in Slytherin. I'm cunning, determined, and I don't let anything stand in the way of what I want. If I really desire something, I'll do everything in my power to get it. But this time, I ended up getting much, much more than I bargained for.

I had been eyeing Ginny for a while. I knew that there was no use it it. She was a Gryffindor and a blood traitor, after all. However, that didn't keep me from noticing what all of the heterosexual guys at Hogwarts had; Ginny Weasley was dead sexy, and anyone who thought otherwise had to be kidding themselves. I kept my distance. I knew that I would be berated heavily by my fellow Slytherins if I made as much as a romantic comment. Of course, they made comments about how attractive she was. It was always, "That Weasley girl is pretty damn hot. Too bad she's a filthy muggle lover." I would always agreed passively, always listening and acting strangely quiet when her name came up. I knew that talking about her would cause stirrings of feeling that I would be unable to control.

It was later that week when the chain of events occured that turned my life upside down. I couldn't sleep. You can call it insomnia, but I blamed Ginny Weasley. I couldn't get the image of her out of my mind. It wouldn't go away. I was stuck there in bed, my boxers uncomfortably tight, and too exhausted to do anything about it. I opened up the emerald green hangings around my bed and sat up, gazing out the only window in my dormitory. The moon shone bright above the black lake. And in the light of the moon lay a person along the bank. Who else was up at this ungodly hour? The person moved, and I saw a flash of scarlet as the moonlight reflected off of her hair. Ginny Weasley was relaxing by the light of the moon, completely alone. I jumped out of bed and hurried out of the common room. I didn't know what spurned my sudden reaction. Whatever it was, it was powerful.

I walked swiftly and softly through the school corridors, narrowly missing Peeves at one point. I arrived at the large doors that led out of the castle and pushed them open. Evidently, Filch had left them unlocked. I stepped out onto the dewy lawn and made my way towards where Ginny was laying, facing the other way. She didn't seem to notice me walking slowly towards her. I could almost see the freckles dabbled across her face when I saw a sudden movement and a bright light in my face made me blink rapidly. I saw her angry brown eyes and her wand pointed directly at me, her cheeks inflamed. Damn, she was hot when she was angry.

"Get that damn thing out of my face, Weasley," I spat. I couldn't be too nice. She was too smart to take me seriously if I acted nice.

"What are you doing out here?" she said in strangely strangled voice.

"Why does it matter Weasley? At least I'm not sitting on the banks of the lake alone like you, you're probably thinking about 'The Chosen One' and how he'll never love you." I could barely believe that I had spewed such venom. She looked incredibly hurt. What the hell Draco? You're alone with the chick you've been having wet dreams about for months and you bring up her ex?

Apparently, Ginny Weasley never let words get her down for too long. She shot back with her usual ferocity, leaving me stunned. I didn't want her to hate me-hell, I would hate myself is she hated me. I tried to divert the conversation away from where it was going with an obvious remedy. I asked her to go for a swim. Easy enough, we were next to a lake. What else was a guy supposed to do? She didn't answer, but began to undress. I did too, stripping down to my boxers. Ginny stood in front of me, clad in only her knickers and bra. If the view was great with clothes on, it was 10 times better with clothes off. I caught her catching glimpses of me out of the corner of her eye; evidently, Quidditch did me well.

We both waded into the water awkwardly. And then we talked. Words spilled out of my mouth, things that I never ever would have known washed over my ears. Ginny Weasley shared my affections, and before I knew it, my mouth was on hers.

We kissed like the world was ending; I couldn't get enough of her. Her pale skin, her fiery hair, her warm brown eyes, her everything. I unhooked her bra with shaking hands and freed her breasts from their confines. Her hands roamed below my waist and into the depths of my underwear; I shuddered as her fingers brushed my manhood. In the blur of hands and limbs we moved to the bank, never letting go. I could feel the heat emanating from her body. I knew what she wanted. I wanted it too.

"Do you want to?" I asked, my chest heaving. I looked deep into the depths of her eyes and saw the want and desire there.

"Yes."

Everything happened so fast after that. Moments later, I was thrusting inside her. Her warmth was maddening; I gripped her tightly, trying to keep it together. This was amazing. I was making love to Ginny Weasley and I wasn't holding back. She seemed tense for a minute or so-I assumed it was nerves. She eventually relaxed and began to murmur my name. Draco. Draco, my God...It drove me over the edge. I finished inside her and pulled out, breathing hard. I looked over at Ginny. Her skin was flushed and there were tear tracks on her face. Was I really that bad? I had to admit, it had been embarrassingly short.

A strangled sob interrupted my thoughts. Ginny had gotten up and was putting on her robes hurriedly, her whole body shaking. She started running, faster than I'd ever seen anyone run, back to the castle. Did I hurt her? Did I say something? Ginny always seemed strong. She was one of the toughest girls I knew.

"Ginny?" I called after her. But it was too late. She was gone.

Hey guys, thanks for reading! Please review, I really do appreciate the nice critiques. You will be seeing Draco's POV again soon. I won't be showing all of the in-depth conversations he has with Ginny; maybe some of the really important ones. I'm going to be focusing mainly on his thoughts during this whole ordeal. Love you all,  
K 


	7. One Step Back

I woke with a start, sweating and shaking and tangled in my bed sheets. I was still very dark outside; it couldn't have been earlier than three in the morning. If it was early morning, why the hell was I up? I tried falling back to sleep, attempting to ignore the clammy feeling of my skin. After failing miserably, I made my way to the dormitory bathroom. I turned on the sink and splashed water on my face as I looked at my reflection in the cracked mirror. It had been a long time since I had taken a good look at my appearance. I looked dreadful. Dark bags hung under my eyes and my skin had a sickly, pale look to it. Even my freckles seemed faded. My usually fiery orange hair looked dull. I had obviously gained a few pounds on my hips and my breasts were slightly larger. My abdomen was slightly swollen, though it was nothing I couldn't hide under my school robes. I was a mess.

As my stomach grew, so did the rumors. Although I didn't look very pregnant yet, people seemed to make very keen observations. I was eating more. I had left the quidditch team. I spent excessive amounts of time in the hospital wing and people noticed. Although the whispers were slight, they were definitely there. I suspected that they originated from Lavender Brown. She herself had been rumored to be pregnant last year, but no baby ever arrived. She most likely "took care of it." I knew that I had seen her eat excessively and run from the common room looking green after meals. Lavender was known for the knotches in her bedposts, and if anyone could recognize the signs of pregnancy, it was her.

I was 4 and a half months along and I still hadn't made up my mind. The weeks crept up on me sneakily, always taking me by surprise. This baby would be here before I knew it and I felt completely unprepared. I was excited, yes; bringing new life into the world was an exhilarating, yet terrifying thought. I knew that mum wouldn't want me to give this baby up. It would kill her to know that she couldn't watch her first grandchild grow up. Mum and I hadn't discussed that much yet; she was constantly sending me letters to ask how I was feeling, if Hogwarts was providing enough food for me and the growing child inside me. At first, her letters seemed bitter with disappointment; now they had a new tone. Mum was obviously very excited about her new grandchild. But was I? Uncertainty swept through me, making me feel extremely uneasy.

Although I was having some serious doubts, things were looking up slightly. I knew that Draco would be with me through this. I hadn't thought about whether it was going anywhere romantically - did it matter? And Ron had accepted the fact that I was facing motherhood. He knew that I needed him and did a very good job at hiding his disapproval. However, I knew that he was very disappointed in me. And I knew that the father question would come up eventually and I'd had a more than friendly encounter with his arch enemy. The knowledge would kill him.

Suddenly, I started shaking violently. I grasped the edge of the bathroom sink, trying to get a hold of myself. The porcelain was freezing under my hands and my skin felt like it was on fire. I held onto the sink with all of my strength as my legs gave out from under me. The room was spinning fast in circles and I felt the urge to vomit.

As my head swam, I came to a warped conclusion, no doubt due to my worsening state, on what was happening to me.. I was dying. It sure seemed like it. Ginny Weasley, another victim of her own mistakes. The dark tile beneath me was getting closer, too close. And as if I had gotten hit in the head with a bludger, my vision blurred and I saw no more.

"Oh my God, is she all right?"

"Merlin, I think she hit her head. Someone get Madam Pomfrey."

"Ginny? Are you awake?" I heard Hermione's frantic voice among those of my dorm mates. My head was throbbing and tender. I didn't even remember hitting the ground.

"Mione?" I croaked. My throat was parched. I could see blurred faces peering down at me anxiously. How long had I been unconscious?

"We're going to bring you to the hospital wing Ginny," Hermione said. "You're really sick, oh Merlin, are you bleeding?" I touched my head gingerly with my hand to feel a sticky wetness. My head started spinning and I became surrounded by darkness once again.

I woke up squinting into a bright light. I could make out fuzzy faces hovering over me; as my vision came back into focus I could see that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were huddled over my bed. I could tell that by my surroundings that I was in the hospital wing.

"She's awake!"

"I know Ron, I can see her too. I'm standing right next to you." said Hermione.

"Oh, right." I could see the blush creeping up on his cheeks. The sky was dark outside the cathedral windows. I didn't know how long I'd been here. All that came to memory was a blurry recollection of me grasping the sink like it was my lifeline.

"Hermione, how long have I been here?" I asked.

"We found you in the bathroom at around eight this morning. You hit your head and you've been burning with fever ever since." I did feel awful. Just then a horrible thought hit me. Had my baby been harmed? Had I hit my stomach in the fall? Madam Pomfrey bustled over almost immediately.

"Is the baby all right?" I asked quickly, feeling extremely anxious. There were so many things that could have gone wrong. I knew I should have tried to stay healthier and more active. I wasn't the only one dependent on my lifestyle anymore.

"The last time I checked, your baby was in some distress," she replied. My heart stopped. "But it's normal for that to happen when the mother is ill, or has the flu, like in your case. She seems to be doing fine. It's nothing to be concerned with as long as we keep on eye on you." Thank goodness. The sick feeling in my stomach slowly faded away. She was okay.

Wait. She?

"I'm having a girl?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes Ms. Weasley, you are having a baby girl."

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief, but I didn't here Madam Pomfrey's answer. At that precise moment, a tall, blond figure stormed into the hospital wing. It was Draco. He raced over to my bed, nearly pushing Ron into the wall, and grabbed my hand.

"Ginny, I heard you got sick, are you okay?" Oh no. Not here. Merlin, _Ron_ was here. Please. Not now. Ron was looking at him, a look of shock and anger on his face.

"What gave you the right to come in here and bother my baby sister when she's obviously sick? She doesn't need some git like you coming in here and bothering her! Why the hell are you here anyway?" Ron spat. Draco's fists were clenched in rage. He obviously wasn't going to take Ron sitting down.

"I have every right to be here, just as much as you Weasley," Draco retorted, his eyes flashing in anger. A look of confusion passed across Ron's face. No one spoke. After a few moments, his face dawned darkly with realization. He looked like he was about to fire back at Draco, but then he turned to me. I could see the hurt and rage in his eyes.

"It's his, then? You're baby? It's this git's?" Ron said in almost a whisper. I was silent. I couldn't speak.

"Ginny, tell me. Did he-" he said, pointing at Draco," get you like this," he said, motioning to my stomach, his voice quaking with anger. I could feel the tears already burning in my eyes. My chest started heaving and my body was shaking. I was losing control of everything.

"Ron, I never meant for it to happen like this," I said, the tears beginning to run down my face. Ron's eyes were not focused on me, but Draco. "Look at me. Ron, look at me, please," I plead. He gave me a look of pure hatred that chilled me to the core.

Everything was silent except for Ron's heavy breathing. And before I knew it, all hell broke loose. In one undetectable moment, Ron was punching Draco in the face with all the force he could muster. Draco stumbled backwards, and in his split second of weakness Ron pulled out his wand and sent him flying across the ward. Draco hit the wall and fell to the floor. He lay on the ground, stirring weakly, holding his head.

"Ron, what the hell did you do!" I shrieked. I jumped out of bed and attempted to run over to where Draco was laying. But as soon as my feet hit the floor, extreme dizziness came over me. Hermione reached out and held me steady as she led me back to my bed. The short trip had me exhausted. I wasn't healthy enough to feel this much.

Madam Pomfrey heard the commotion and ran over to our end of the ward. She levitated the agonized Draco into a bed and, upon seeing how upset I was, conjured a light purple potion. In one quick movement she was pouring the mixture down my throat and I felt drowsy at once. I drifted away from reality almost immediately, drowning in memories of that afternoon. I had fallen literally and figuratively into a world of pain. It would take time and strength to get back up again.

_Sorry it took so long to update! My computer wasn't cooperating with me. Ugh. I hope you guys liked this chapter. It isn't one of my better chapters but I think it's necessary to the plot. It's my first every fanfic and I hope that you guys have liked it so far! Please review, your input is always appreciated and considered for every chapter._

_-K_


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